29-year-old HR employee reprimanded for not inviting 41-year-old manager to her wedding: 'After everything I've done for you, that's how you thank me?'

This supervisor threw a fit when she learned that she wasn't invited to her employee's wedding.

It's not like these two were work besties. In the author's eyes, they only had a purely professional relationship. Sure, they got along, but they never hung out outside of work. On top of that, the author's boss was 11 years her senior, so it's not like they were in similar life stages either. One has to wonder what possessed the 41-year-old to think that she was entitled to a wedding invitation just because she was a decent manager?

For further context, the author had made a mistake at work, and her manager risked consequences by taking the fall for it on her behalf. There were ultimately zero consequences, and no one was scolded by upper management in the end. Still, for whatever reason, the 29-year-old's boss thought that because of this temporarily stressful situation, she had earned a proper invitation to her employee's wedding.

Let's just say that she was decidedly unprofessional when she discovered that she wasn't ever going to be invited…

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  • Two businesswomen shaking hands across a desk in a professional setting.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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  • To make matters worse, the author did invite two coworkers, but these were people in the same age range as her, and the three were very much friends outside of work. Still, that wasn't enough to convince the author's boss that she hadn't been given the short end of the stick. This kind of situation just goes to show that if you do have coworkers you'd like to invite to big personal events like weddings or birthdays, it's best for everyone involved to understand that they should all keep silent about these events during work hours. That way, no one gets hurt! 

  • "[Am I wrong] for refusing to invite my manager to my wedding after she 'saved' my job?"

    I (29F) work in HR at a medium- sized company. My direct manager "Tina" (41F) has always been the type to mix business
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  • with personal life, she loves team gossip, overshares about her marriage, etc. I've always been polite but kept my distance.
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  • About eight months ago, I made a payroll mistake that delayed a few bonuses. It was fixable, but it caused a bit of chaos. I owned up
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  • immediately, and Tina told upper management she'd "handle it." I later learned she took some heat off me by calling it a "system error."
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  • I thanked her privately and promised to be more careful. That was that.
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  • Fast-forward to now: I'm getting married next month. Word got around the office, and Tina came up to me all cheerful, saying,
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  • "Can't wait for the wedding invite!" I froze. I hadn't planned on inviting her, I only invited two close work friends I see outside of work.
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  • When she realized she wasn't invited, she got weird. She said, "After everything I've done for you, that's how you thank me?" and even told others that I was "ungrateful."
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  • Now a few coworkers say I'm being "cold" because Tina "went to bat for me." But to me, saving face for the department doesn't entitle her to a spot at my wedding.
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  • So, AITA for not inviting my manager who once saved me from being written up?
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  • Four employees conversing with one another in a professional setting.
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  • intentsnegotiator • 2h ago No it doesn't however in this case you might be further ahead to invite her given not only what she did for you but what she could do to you in the future. Be very careful!
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  • Groundbreaking M... . 2h ago This is why we don't mix personal with work, I know it's hard but work is just that work. You don't necessarily owe her anything. She did what a decent manager is supposed to do, look out for her team.
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  • Used_Mark_7911 • 2h ago NTA for not inviting her initially. However, I think you have handled this badly. You muddied the water by inviting 2 other people from work. It might have been easier if you hadn't invited anybody from work at all.
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  • Once you knew your boss. thought she was invited and was very excited, it might have been simpler to just give her an invitation. It seems kind of dumb career- wise to make a big stand about not inviting her.
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  • Frustrated businesswoman holding her head in her hands looking stressed.
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

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